I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
my liver is dry heaving
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
