so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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