I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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