Sry I called you an 8
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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