The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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