You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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