Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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