Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I'm just crazy horny about you
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Randomize
