You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
