it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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