check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
