Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
