and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
