Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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