the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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