i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
i think im in europe. pls send help
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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