You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
how does that bad decision feel?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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