That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
we made out on top of his cat.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
