Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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