i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
