Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
