This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
