Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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