the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
