Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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