The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
