so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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