a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
