it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Randomize
