do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
