Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
