i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
