you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
why do cheetos always look like penises
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
