If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
