So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
