did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
