I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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