I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
