i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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