You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
