you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
