Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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