This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
We left an ass print on the piano.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
