im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
