I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
The air taste purple.
Randomize
