Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
