did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
