ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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