I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
