I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
