I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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