Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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