Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
